Going Beyond Just Saying 'Hello'

GREETING SOMEONE is an ordinary thing - a common courtesy. Most all of us do it, and we oftentimes don't give it much thought - if any. We just say "Hello" - to a classmate, to a teacher, to the principal; or, to a secretary, to an associate, to the boss; or, to a neighbor, to the mail-carrier, or to the cashier at the grocery store. Perhaps we ought to consider saying more than just a simple "Hello."

Some people do take it a step further. They say, "How are you?" The most common response to that question that I've heard is, "Fine." Another quick answer might be, "I'm good." Sometimes the person may also return the same question, "How are you?" A following quick response is, "I'm fine too." And with that, both individuals go on their way.

Are there times when we should go beyond the greeting, "Hi, how are ya?" I think so.

Chaplain, and columnist, Norris Burkes suggests going beyond simple and quick greetings with some additional questions. I like what he has to say.

1. "What's new in your world?" Burkes says that this question prompts people to share a short story. He says that if they deflect the question by saying, "Oh not much," he responds with, "Come on, there's got to be something new."

2. "Tell me about your ...." For example, Burkes might ask people about something distinctive like a tee-shirt, jewelry, or their tattoos. Or, he might say, "Tell me about your smile today." Or, "Tell me about your tears."

3. "What's your plan today?" or "What's your day looking like?" Burkes suggests that these deeper questions might be better than the more flippant, "What's up, dude?" He says the more serious greeting hints that you'd like to help make their day better.

4. "How can I help make this a good day for you?" Burkes says that if you honestly want to know about a person's well-being, then you must be willing to assist.

5. "What are you hoping for?" If you ask this question, Burkes says that you demonstrate two things. First, you get the person to examine his or her greatest needs. Second, you give an indication of your willingness to be helpful in the attainment of these needs.

Communication and friendliness helps build relationships. In relating to people at school, at work, at church, in our community, in our neighborhood, even in leisure settings, we all need to be good greeters. We need to go beyond just saying a quick "Hello."

Of course there are times when we are in a rush for a reason. But, whenever possible, perhaps we need to slow down long enough to show a caring attitude for other people.

A prime example of going beyond just saying a quick "hello" is to invite people into our homes. My son is an expert at this. He opens his home for all kinds of social occasions. Various groups of people have enjoyed his hospitality numerous times over the past several months.

He has hosted an anniversary celebration, a retirement event, a get-together for high school students and their parents, a birthday bash, a pizza party for graduate students, and several other shindigs. The latest social occasion at my son's home was a Christmas Open House for all the neighbors who live on his street. For all of these, he has provided food and drinks - all the way from light refreshments to formal sit-down dinners.

For the birthday bash mentioned above, it was suggested that any gift brought be a toy for a tot. Guests responded in a remarkable fashion. An enormous collection of toys were received and later delivered to a Salvation Army Center for distribution to families who had little or no way to provide toys for their own children for Christmas. The smiles on the faces of the kids, parents, and volunteer workers indicated thankful hearts.

Really, it's all about relating to other people and demonstrating a caring attitude that goes way beyond just saying "howdy."

May it be true for more of us - more often.